In the Preface to his Revised (2nd) Edition of The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon, David Elkind, Ph.D. wrote about our “tendency to accept the increasing and unrelenting stresses on today’s young people as ‘normal’ and our willingness to rationalize them as actually beneficial for children!” In the 3rd Edition (2001) he wrote, “Parents are under more pressure than ever to overschedule their children and have them engage in organized sports and other activities that may be age-inappropriate. Unhappily, the overtesting of children in public schools has become more extensive than it was even a decade ago.”
Elkind says, “We can chart a child’s stress level by assessing the stressors he or she has undergone recently.” The scale below gives an estimate of the impact of various changes in a child’s life that hurry and stress them. Natalie and I were interested to see that even positive events can cause some stress. For example, “outstanding personal achievement” receives 28 points. We decided that it was true that there is a certain amount of stress in wanting and trying to maintain a high level of achievement. I decided to travel back in time (to the year I was 10-years-old) and took his stress test. Natalie then took his stress test. I scored over 300. (Much to my relief, taking the test for this past year I scored 113). Natalie scored 101. Read on to see what the scores mean. I’d love to hear your thoughts. (You can post comments below.)
Add up the total points for all of the items your child has experienced in the last year. If your child scored below 150, he or she is about average with respect to stress load. If your child’s score was between 150 and 300, he or she has a better than average chance of showing some symptoms of stress. If your child’s score was above 300, there is a strong likelihood he or she will experience a serious change in health and/or behavior.
Parent dies 100
Parents divorce 73
Parents separate 65
Parent travels as part of job 63
Close family member dies 63
Personal illness or injury 53
Parent remarries 50
Parent fired from job 47
Parents reconcile 45
Mother goes to work 45
Change in health of a family member 44
Mother becomes pregnant 40
School difficulties 39
Birth of a sibling 39
School readjustment (new teacher or class) 39
Change in family’s financial condition 38
Injury or illness of a close friend 37
Starts a new (or changes) an extra-curricular 36
activity (music lessons, Brownies, etc.)
Change in number of fights with siblings 35
Threat of violence at school 31
Theft of personal possessions 30
Change in responsibilities at home 29
Older brother or sister leaves home 29
Trouble with grandparents 29
Outstanding personal achievement 28
Move to another city 26
Move to another part of town 26
Receiving or losing a pet 25
Change in personal habits 24
Trouble with teacher 24
Change in hours with babysitter or at day-care center 20
Move to a new house 20
Change to a new school 20
Change in play habits 19
Vacations with family 19
Change in friends 18
Attend a summer camp 17
Change in sleeping habits 16
Change in number of family get-togethers 15
Change in eating habits 15
Change in amount of TV viewing 13
Birthday party 12
Punished for not “telling the truth” 11
